Mind Matters

Anger. Antagonism. Antipathy. Arrogance. Apathy.
Each of these postures poses difficult and emotionally stressful interactions with patients. Each, in their own way, poses a threat and challenge and disrespect for our level of education, experience, and competence. They belittle the innumerable sacrifices we have met throughout our educational and professional years. They are the ultimate expression of despicable audacity.

When faced with patients like this, it's easy to think: “How dare they attempt to belittle us to their level? They are little more than pathetic ‘Internet dabblers' attempting to understand our complex profession! How dare they attempt to castigate or even castrate us in our ability to take good care of them? Do they not realize that they are ultimately trying to reduce us to handcuffed healers without the tools and emotional hubris to help them? Are they blind to our needs for affirmation and gratitude that fuels our energy and desire to stay abreast and immersed in the plethora of information sources necessary to integrate and synthesize in order to make them well?”

In reality, however, these patients are often overwhelmed with so much anxiety, fear, and desperation that they are flailing and pleading for direction and reassurance that they are, in fact, in competent medical hands and in the right place. Our patients are inundated with information suggesting ineptitude on the part of the medical profession. What was once an absolute blind faith and security in one's health care provider is now muddled in messages of possible incompetence, coercion, or other unscrupulous motivations.

Simply stated, underneath most of these offensive presentations that our media-empowered patients exhibit is a simple, primordial fear. What patients really want is to make the best choices to avert terrifying negative outcomes and the possible devastating progression of deterioration, decline, and death—and they want our help in doing so. I often tell patients that the decisions and recommendations that I will make for them are only those that I would make for my own mother. On several occasions, I have been challenged with the question, “Do you like your mother?” With a smile and often an embrace, I assure them that I do indeed love my mother and will do what is right on their behalf.

I do not believe that the daily challenges we face from patients are based on arrogance, disrespect, disbelief, or other attempts to diminish us. These are rather the antics of desperate and frightened people seeking reassurance, comfort, and firm direction.